My husband and I are celebrating 23 years of marriage this month of August. We married August 2, 1997. I look back and I remember the day I walked down the aisle with my mother, seeing him at the altar with my son Max. He was waiting for me…..And I’ve been waiting for him ? 

People search for a lifetime to find the right one. I am blessed because I have the “right one”! As we all know, marriage isn’t easy. It is a work of art between two people, just like a flower in a pot, it needs rain, sunshine, love and nurturing. I only know this because I have been married before. 

The moment you stop nurturing and taking care of the love that brought you together…trouble arises. 

Yes, I say this again, I have been blessed with knowledge, patience and a lot of love for my “right one”.

I wasn’t going to give up no matter what happens. Still…there were a lot of things to learn. 

We were both growing and continuously getting to  know more of each other—- as we were living as husband and wife—— building this family life we both chose to build. Responsibilities and Obligations set in. 

Life becomes a rat race. 

The first 10 years was all about raising little babies. Dealing with a lot of immaturity between myself and my husband. Learning, adapting and growing as a couple —— and as parents to our 4 children. 

The first 10 Years molded what the next 10 years would be. There were a lot of challenges. We both started focusing on our inner selves, looking for ways to justify the changes as individuals. Asking questions about what could’ve been and what should’ve been. 

We got overwhelmed, sidetracked, blinded by other things —— But thankfully….. we decided to connect spiritually and realized the gifts that God has given us ——- it was the unshakable love that we have for each other that pulled us through! The love is always there. It’s when we choose not to focus on it that allows the negative energy forces to pull us apart. 

The faith in our agreement as partners for life was written in stone. At this point in our marriage…. nothing can uproot us. When you put God in the middle of your marriage— He arranges things and let’s you see and experience CLARITY. 

Let me add…..We had my wonderful, beautiful mother to guide us through. She would advise us that if one was hot the other has to be cold. There was a lot of soul-searching. Learning about true selflessness. Communication, Forgiveness and Trust. 

Humility….. and let’s not forget INTIMACY ?

53 MARRIAGE TIPS 

THAT BROUGHT US TO 23 YEARS! 

1. Always say I love you

2. Compliment each other.

3. Hold hands.

4. Kiss a lot!

5. Do chores for each other to lighten up the burden

6. Be honest

7. Be considerate

8. Have date nights

9. Dress up and look attractive for your spouse 

10. Listen with intent 

11. Patience, patience, patience

12. Forgive and move on 

13. Trust with all your heart! 

14. Avoid getting upset at the same time

15. Never start your sentence with “You Always….” when you are in an argument 

16. Never go to sleep angry 

17. Never say I hate you!

18. Never curse at your spouse

19. Don’t take each other for granted 

20. Pray together 

21. Reminisce together – talk about the good old days and precious time when kids were babies 

22. Make time to talk about financial stuff

23. Admit when you are wrong

24. Say Thank you

25. Say I’m sorry

26. Take time to take care of yourself so you can bring the best version of “YOU” for your spouse

27. Never throw around the threat of divorce 

28. Be open and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

29. Be goofy with each other ? LAUGH! 

30. Pick your battles- don’t sweat the small stuff

31. Never bring up mistakes from the past 

32. Make sure you agree on certain topics that will not be discussed during date night. 

33. Before making any plans, consult with your spouse first

34. Celebrate each other – it’s the little things on special occasions (the thought that counts) to make your spouse feel special and remembered

35. Plan short weekends together- even if it’s an overnight at a bed and breakfast

36. Take time off if need be — to reset your feelings when upset

37. Agree to put the phones away 

38. Support each other’s ideas

39. Exercise together

40. Do projects around the house- together 

41. Communicate how you feel whether you’re happy, sad, or upset. 

42. Allow friends in your life- having boys night outs and girls night outs- is very healthy 

43. Do not butt in when your spouse is reprimanding or having a serious talk with your child. 

44. Text to remind each other how much you love them.

45. Never leave the house without saying goodbye 

46. Never go to sleep without kissing goodnight 

47. Do not fight in front of the children

48. Do not ever disrespect or put each other down in front of your children or friends

49. If you need to criticize, do it in a very nice way

50. Make time for intimacy 

51. Love and Respect each other’s parents 

52. Honor and put your spouse first

53. Make an agreement that you both are in this marriage – for the long haul! It’s a partnership. 

Be each other’s BEST FRIEND! Having the same agreement with the same goal to make the marriage a lasting one. 

BE ON THE SAME PAGE!